When you choose an open adoption, you are not just allowing the birth parents to be a part of your child's life; you are also allowing your child to have a deeper sense of their own life story. Here are two ways that an open adoption can help your child as they develop their sense of self.
#1: Adoption Story
Most children who are adopted through a closed adoption process grow up only knowing one side of their adoption story.
They grow up knowing that you chose them because you loved them and that you wanted to have them in your life. There are numerous children's books that you can read to your child that discuss how an adoptive parent is a real parent, and that will help your child understand that your love for them is just as deep as if you gave them birth.
The story they will not get if you adopt them through a closed adoption process is the story from the perspective of their birth parents. Most children's books provide children with a sense that their birth parents put them up for adoption because they loved them but do not provide much more narrative than that. If your child doesn't know their birth parents, this is the only story that they will have about why they were given up for adoption in the first place.
When your child has an open adoption in place, though, their birth parents can help weave and create their adoption story as well. They can explain how much they cared about your child and loved them and about how they knew that another set of parents would be able to provide the love and support that your child needed. If they selected you, the birth parents can also tell your child their story about finding you and how they know that you and your partner were the perfect parents for the child.
This will allow your child to know both sides of their adoption story as they grow up and will allow your child to really know from first-hand experience that both you and their birth parents love them and choose for them to be loved. Your child will never have to wonder about their adoption story or have to fill in the blanks; they will know it from a young age straight from the source.
#2: Creation Story
Oftentimes, a child's adoption story is just as important as their creation story. When you have an open adoption, your child will be able to interact with and see pictures of their birth parents. They will be able to see where their physical features came from. They will be able to get a sense and idea of what they will look like when they get old by seeing and interacting with their birth parents. They will not have to wonder what their birth parents look like; they will know for a fact.
You will also be able to more easily show your child the traits that they get from you. For example, if your family values eating dinner together and listening to one another, your child will be able to see that they get the trait of being a good listener from you and the family that you have provided them with.
When you have an open adoption, your child will be able to see and understand where they get different traits and how they are individualistic more clearly; they will not have to wonder about these things as children with closed adoptions do.
When you choose an open adoption, you are giving your child a chance to grow up knowing their full adoption story and where they came from while also allowing your child to see your love and care for them at the same time.
For more information about open and closed adoptions and the legal processes associated with each, contact a family-law firm such as Thomas & Associates, PC.
Share28 September 2016
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